Does My Sexual Identity Define Me?

By Kelly Warren

 

“Your sexual identity ‘defines’ you!” Numerous times, I’ve heard this statement pronounced proudly from the lips of well meaning advocates, allies, and members of the lgbt community at large. I disagree, at least in terms of the meaning of the statement as it stands, by itself. It oversimplifies a highly complex subject. It is far too generalized to contain any degree of significant, applicable meaning for the straight community, and it invites the lgbt community to place an unhealthy, inordinate amount of importance on their sexuality. On both an individual and societal scale, it is a deceptive notion that is actually counter productive to the progression of sexual freedom. At the risk of being too pedantic, I suggest that we strive to expand this statement to something like, “Your sexual identity/orientation represents a valuable, dynamic, and vital part of your unique, evolving personality!”

 

To say that one’s sexual identity alone defines them is similar to saying that one’s blindness or sight alone defines them. To claim that anyone’s physiological, mental, or emotional attributes, or even the combination thereof defines them is exclusive and incomplete, and therefore, ends up being a gross misrepresentation. If I desire to truly “get to know” you, my interests wont be concerned with your societal sexual tag(s) or your classification based upon psychological pseudoscience, but rather will be invested in exploring the wealth of intricate aspects, sexual and non-sexual, which, when combined, produce your “wholeness.” A rainbow is not a rainbow unless it has “all” the colors of the rainbow.

 

 

Both words “identity” and “define” in this commonly spoken statement create concepts that can inhibit personal growth. Identity is not an object or a condition, but rather a “process.” It’s easier to think of it as a condition because then we can remain safe inside the shell of our protected, easily identifiable state, categorized and filed away on the shelf of some sort of sexual identity museum. But we didn’t come out of the closet to be placed on the shelf. The “process” of identity is one that involves personal transformation, a continually changing state in which we are exposed to both the positive and negative impact of varying circumstances that produce an assortment of consequences. It requires management, fine tuning, and readjustment. That sexual identity is a continually evolving process on a collective scale is evidenced by the ever changing lgbt acronym, in which we first added the “q” for “questioning,” followed by letters that refer to straight allies. And, by the way, have you ever heard a straight person claim that their sexual

identity defines them?

 

Honestly, I almost feel demeaned when someone suggests that my sexual identity defines me. As if that which sexually arouses me somehow defines the whole of my personality. “Sexuality” is about “sex,” largely the act of sex itself, which is something that today is misunderstood, disrespected, feared, shunned, and shamed – even among some members of the lgbt community – due to centuries of horrific, fear mongering suppression by political and religious regimes. Saying that one’s sexual identity defines them is a glorified, vague generalization that clouds the minds of the general public by sweeping the ill conceived perception of the messiness of the sex act under the rug. Even in the land of the free, sexual freedom is still a starving child.

 

Finally, considering the word “define” here again, our error is in wanting our identity neatly packaged into a simple, precise, unchangeable “definition.” After all, behavioral science can succinctly define any behavior or pattern of behavioral tendencies, right? No, it cannot, especially since, in relation to lgbt people, its history has proceeded from being the submissive bed partner to the aforementioned political and religious entities that have championed terms like “immoral” and “reprobate” from which the psychological designations of “aberrant” and “dysfunctional” were coined to describe some of the sexual activities in which we engage, saving us from execution only by bleakly categorizing us as “mentally ill.” Science, through reductionism, is bent on defining. That’s not a criticism. That’s what it’s supposed to do. But in this modern age in which science is king, to say that science can adequately define sexuality is to squash individuality like a dirty cockroach.

 

To transpose this procedure and say that sexual identity, based upon a supposedly empirical understanding, somehow defines us, is an absurd insinuation. Gays, lesbians, and the straight community would do well to discuss the subject with their bisexual and transgender friends who often appreciate and understand, to a greater degree, the transitional nature of sexual identity and its complex, fluctuating contribution to the wholeness of one’s personality. And unfortunately, because I’m trying to limit the length of this essay, I can’t even begin to share anything about our precious friends who might be pansexual or asexual, who presently aren’t included in the alphabet soup of our modern acronym. I currently claim the “g” but have also dabbled with the “b” of our acronym, because my own sexuality is fraught with a wide variety of likes and dislikes, specific fetishes, thoughts, feelings, and desires that often intensify, level off, and fade in response to pulsations of sensual fulfillment and deprivation. So, go ahead, put me into a box and define my sexual identity, or explain to me how it defines me. Write the story of my sexuality, and pretend as though you’ve come to fully understand it. I hope you have pounds of coffee, undying patience, infinite wisdom, and a computer with an immeasurable memory.

Happy Anniversary BPI: Fifteen Years at the Forefront

Since its inception, Blind LGBT Pride International, or Blind Friends of lesbians and Gays, as this organization was originally named, has been at the forefront in setting an example for inclusion and equality! Like any group, the growth of this affiliate is marked by fantastic successes as well as growing pains. The main focus of BPI has never shifted, however. We strive to support and embrace every aspect of what it means to be individuals who happen to be blind or vision impaired as well as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.

 

In 1996, a group of members within the American Council of the Blind believed a voice was missing in the organized blind movement – that of individuals who were lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender. This small group held the first of four annual informal meetings to begin discussion of the needs of the vision impaired glbtq population; these gatherings also began to ponder what it would mean to build a path forward to getting their voices heard by the broader community. During the ACB convention in Los Angeles in 1999, a decision was made to apply for formal status as a special interest affiliate.

 

On February 20, 2000, the ACB Board of Directors approved the request for affiliation of the members of Blind Friends of Lesbians and Gays, or BFLAG. The affiliation certificate was presented during the first general session of the ACB convention that year in Louisville, Kentucky. . Rob Hill became the first president of the new organization.

 

BFLAG continued its growth in Houston, Texas in 2002, and Connie David was elected as president. Many of the local Houston LGBT volunteers became members, and the week was very successful.

 

The next year saw a great deal of hard work pay off for the members as BFLAG earned its 501c(3) status, and a new logo was created. These two events made it much easier to promote the work and objectives of BFLAG, and this lent the organization strength in pursuing donations. Our organization also received the Growth Award by ACB for having the highest percentage of new members for 2003.

 

2008 saw even more growth as BFLAG reported its 200th member as well as the formation of four affiliates – BFLAG Washington, D.C., BFLAG Texas, BFLAG Tulsa and BFLAG Mid Atlantic.

 

2009 saw more growth for BFLAG, as our name was changed to Blind LGBT Pride International or BPI. This was also the year that board meetings became open to the public, providing more transparency to members, allowing them to have firsthand knowledge of how organizational business was conducted.

 

As we enter into our 15th year of existence as a special-interest affiliate, we can be proud of the work that has been done to further the advancement and inclusion of people who are blind or visually impaired and lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender. We must also continue to ask ourselves, what we can do to further our goals and reach more individuals with our powerful message.

 

As members of BPI, we are part of the only organization in the world dedicated to the issues experienced by those that are LGBTQ and blind and vision impaired. We can continue to be the leading special interest affiliate as LGBT baby boomers begin to age into vision loss.

 

According to a study released by the American Foundation for the Blind in 2008, by 2030, rates of vision loss will have doubled along with the country’s aging population. Blind and Vision Impaired individuals who are LGBT face a number of particular concerns as they age. Several studies document they are less likely than their straight sighted counterparts to access adequate health care, affordable housing or other social services that they may need; this due to attitudinal barriers, institutionalized discrimination, and a lack of access to safety net programs. As an active member and advocate dedicated to social justice and equality, you will have the opportunity to collaborate in a joint effort that works to reverse this pervasive trend.

 

You belong to a unique organization that strives to make a difference. I invite you to more fully support our continual efforts to eliminate societal barriers while increasing opportunities for those members of the LGBT community who happen to be blind or vision impaired. I look forward to working with you as we head into the next 15 years at the forefront…

 

SBA and HRC Present: Making Your Small Business Workplace LGBT-Inclusive

SBA and HRC Present: Making Your Small Business Workplace LGBT-Inclusive

In honor of LGBT Pride Month, the SBA is teaming up with the Human Rights Campaign, America’s largest civil rights organization working to achieve lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) equality, to provide a free training for small business owners on making their workplace inclusive for LGBT employees.

Webinar attendees will learn:

  • Why fostering an inclusive workplace can make employees more productive,
  • How to provide safeguards for you and your employees by creating a non-discrimination policy, and
  • Where to find the latest information about changing laws and regulations.

> Register now

BPI Elections: Candidates’ Forum

The BPI Elections Committee will host the 2014 Candidates’ Forum on Saturday, June 21, 2014 at 2:00 P.M. PDT, 4:00 P.M. CDT AND 5:00 P.M. EDT.

 

This will be an opportunity for members and friends to listen and ask questions of the individuals seeking the open seats of president, treasurer, board member-at-large 3 and the 9th board position created last year.

 

Please take the opportunity to find out what vision these candidates have for the forward movement of Blind LGBT Pride International!

 

If you have any questions, please visit www.blindlgbtpride.org/contact and choose to email the Elections Committee.

Blind LGBT Pride Bids Farewell to 2013

BPI Members and Friends:

As we get ready to usher in 2014, it is my hope that this Holiday season has been filled with the best in family, friends, and all that is good and positive around you. Whenever this time of year comes around, I can’t help but reflect on where things are, how things have been, and the future that lies ahead. The past 16 months of my presidency have definitely been an enlightening and enriching learning experience. I will admit that there have been times when I have asked myself what has been accomplished during this time. Though they may not seem like much, our accomplishments keep paving the way for a better BPI.

As with any organization, no organization can exist without an honest representation of its membership. As such, a long and arduous process was taken to ensure an accurate count of Blind Pride’s membership. It was during this time that BPI, along with other affiliates under the American Council of the Blind, (ACB) worked diligently to implement an online database for the certification of members.

This year, Blind Pride’s membership voted to broaden its membership criteria to those allies who support Blind Pride’s mission statement. No matter your vision status, or sexual orientation, we have added membership classes to fit your situation. Whether you are a Regular, Student, Associate, Supporting, or Lifetime member, we now have a place where all are welcome. For more information visit:
http://blindlgbtpride.org/joinrenew-membership/.

While on the subject of ACB, we have ensured a more active and unified collaboration with other affiliates within ACB during our annual conference and convention. Topics covered ranged from federal rights for BLIND and LGBT individuals, entrepreneurship, and successful transitioning for students in all phases of education and/or employment.

Lastly with regard to membership, BPI saw growth with the chartering of Blind LGBT Pride of Texas at our annual convention.

In the area of Public Relations, BPI was consulted by author Brandon Shire who has written a gay erotic fiction novel entitled Afflicted in which the main character happens to be blind. As a result of this consultation, the author acknowledged Blind Pride in his book. Secondly, BPI’s social media presence became more active than ever, thereby expanding the international part of our name both on Twitter and on Facebook. Finally, our web presence saw improvements in hopes that our page is more streamlined. We have even made our site more interactive by implementing a blog where members and the public may post comments. We continually use these powerful tools to gather information of interest for our members on a worldwide scale. We will continue to work with LGBT oriented media outlets to ensure that their publications and services are made accessible to those that wish to have access.

In other developments, BPI was proud to make history as we added a ninth board position, that of 2nd Vice President. We also elected our first international Board Member At Large from Canada. Speaking of elections, following the ratification of amendments to BPI’s constitution and bylaws in 2012, those not able to attend convention were able to vote electronically for the first time this Past July. This is certainly a major milestone for BPI as we continue to provide tangible services to our members.

This brings us to the present times. The past few months have allowed us the opportunity to focus our efforts in fund-raising and programming for BPI. Both the Fund-raising and Programs Committees are working together to ensure a successful conference and convention next year, but also to ensure viable ways to engage in successful fund-raising for the future.

What is in store for BPI in 2014? Looking ahead, we plan to find more ways to implement tools for education and outreach purposes. Our hope is to continue to work with other affiliates within ACB, as well as LGBT related groups in the regular mainstream society to dispel any myths out there, and make people aware of the needs that face this very unique community of blind LGBT individuals. One of the many questions that is often asked by members of the blind community is what does our group have to do with blindness? Anything from access to information to legislation, to advocacy, there is so much that goes along with being blind and LGBT. Blind Pride is the only organization of its kind around the world that represents the needs of Blind and Visually impaired LGBT people. Wouldn’t it be exciting to offer a service where someone can go to, either online or by phone that would provide a centralized information and referral service pertinent to people who are blind and LGBT in their community? Wouldn’t it be fantastic if we could provide scholarship opportunities for those interested in higher education? Or, an awesome youth mentorship/alliance program that would engage youth in the interchange of each other’s lives? You see, it is awkward enough being blind, but then to be blind and LGBT, trying to fit into a “regular” way of living where you’re constantly having to adapt to day-to-day norms is totally a different, yet challenging experience. This exchange would not only improve social skills, but would do wonders for both the psychological, as well as the educational well- being of our youth.

All of these ideas, as well as any other programs and future endeavors take time, maybe some research and volunteering, and yes, even your much needed contributions. Your donations are very much needed. Blind Pride is a 501C3 organization, and your contributions are tax deductible. No contribution is too big or too small. You can pay securely by credit card using PayPal. Visit
http://blindlgbtpride.org/donate/.
Alternatively, you can make a check out to Blind LGBT Pride International. The address is:
Blind LGBT Pride International
c/o: Guillermo Robles
5010 Echo Street, Unit A.
Los Angeles CA, 90042.

In closing, I just want to thank those who have supported the work of BPI. As I said in the beginning of my letter, these have been interesting times, and I have enjoyed every minute of it. Here’s to all the best that 2014 can offer. May you and your loved ones have a blessed and happy new year.

With Much Pride,

Guillermo Robles
President, Blind LGBT Pride International